The CALL FM Tropical Storm Center
When it comes to hurricanes, it’s pretty much a given that Call FM is your number one source for in-depth information. Need to know which of the 42 tropical storms are going to turn into a hurricane and pummel you this week? Well, look no further than The Call on your FM dial.
Really, I have been inspired by all of the meteorologists that I’ve been watching on the news this week, and I want to keep up. Well OK, it’s mainly because I think it’s pretty awesome how they can take a chair that is sitting three feet away from the news desk, and turn it into something wicked cool, like “The NBC 6 Hurricane Ike Intensively Serious Storm Command Center.” I mean, it’s totally just a chair, but with a cool title like that, it becomes something infinitely more exciting.
So today on my show, I pulled up an extra chair to the broadcast desk, and until the end of hurricane season, it will hereby be known as “The CALL FM Morbidly Serious Hurricane Prediction and/or Warning Center.”
Neither one of us are technically meteorologists (at least not until those degrees arrive from weatherman.com), but Julio and I have both weighed in on the approaching storms anyway:*
Julio’s hurricane forecast - It looks like he’s headed here right now, but Ike will probably just fizzle out, and we will have put all those shutters up for nothing.*
Kelly’s hurricane forecast - As the formidable force that is hurricane Ike approaches, I predict that the terms “cone of uncertainty,” “cone of concern,” and “feeder bands” will be used on news broadcasts about 475,008 times an hour. I also predict that when you are out scrambling to buy supplies about an hour before Ike makes landfall, you will be seriously tempted to body slam that little old lady in the grocery store who is going for the last bottle of spring water–even though you clearly saw it first. Don’t do it! There are security cameras everywhere, people (although jail may be the safest place for you to be if Ike is as strong as the hurricane center is predicting). I also predict that no matter how many batteries you buy, or how long you charge up that ipod or laptop, about 45 minutes into the first power outtage you’ll run out of juice and have to play tiddlywinks with your little siblings by candlelight to entertain yourself. And in closing, I highly meteorologize (I’m going to have to insist that that’s a real word, regardless of what spell check thinks) that I hate hurricane season.*
We’ll continue to bring you this very informative up-to-the-minute coverage of Hurricanes Ike, Josephine, uh…Kermit, Larry, Moe, Ned, Oprah…until the last tropical depression of the season has dissipated.
Live, from doppler Call FM, this is Kelly signing off.
*OK, so just in case sarcasm’s not your thing, this entire post should be filed under “stuff we might want to consider not doing.” Nobody at The Call is trained in the area of weather prediction, and we highly recommend that you defer to a trusted source of weather news when planning how to deal with the threat of a hurricane. Here is a link to the National Hurricane Center for some real info. Be safe.
